13 Reasons To Be Concerned about the Netflix Series "13 Reasons Why"

You have probably heard of it or watched it by now, but if not, "13 Reasons Why" is a Netflix original series which came out in March 2017. The 14 episode series, now known to be the first season, is about the fallout after a bullied teenaged girl, Hannah, ends her life by suicide. 

Warnings:

*Slight spoilers ahead, some of which I think the viewer ought to know going in.

*Some people are best not to watch this series at all. Please note the detailed recommendations and cautions at the end of this piece. 

Here are my 13 reasons Why I am Concerned About the Netflix Series "13 Reasons Why"

1. It offers an overly simplistic, one dimensional explanation for the motivation behind suicide. By focusing on bullying to the neglect of other factors which are known to frequently contribute to suicide, it puts undue focus and overemphasis on blame. 
2. It glamorizes suicide by presenting it as a viable solution to the main character's problems; problems that unfortunately are not uncommon among today's teens. 
3. It glamorizes suicide by presenting it as an effective and gratifying way to obtain justice and revenge.
4. The music and imagery involved in the marketing, opening sequence and closing credits all have a hip, upbeat feel contributing to and reinforcing the glamorization noted above. 
5. It offers a skewed, unrealistic representation of Hannah's post-death experience.
6. It completely ignores the issue of mental illness which research suggests plays a role in up to 90% of teen suicides. 
7. It shocks unprepared viewers with graphic sexual assault. 
8. Since the focus of the series is on suicide and the sexual assaults are ancillary to the storyline, they could, albeit unintentionally, contribute to a mindset of rape culture and the objectification of women, especially in young viewers. 
9. Because all 14 episodes are available simultaneously, viewers are inclined to binge watch them. This could cause the viewer to become emotionally flooded and overwhelmed by or desensitized to the impact. 
10. The suicide scene is graphic. For most people, it is quite upsetting to watch and for those more vulnerable to the content, it is likely tremendously disturbing, potentially triggering post-trauma reactions in individuals who have past personal experience. Conversely, those who have self harm inclinations may experience  an adrenaline rush and view the scene as alluring and even instructive.
11. The series has been hugely popular among adolescents for many reasons, not least of which is how accurately it portrays the pressures and angst of high school. This contributes to laying the foundation for suicide contagion, or, copycat suicide, a harsh reality that is well proven. A thoughtful teen could easily deduce since it portrays their daily struggles so well perhaps it also portrays the post-suicide experience accurately. To a struggling teen this thinking makes sense since the adolescent brain's capacity to reason, assess risk and predict consequences is not yet fully developed. 
12. Despite insistence that the program is trying to contribute to a constructive suicide conversation, it is in fact an adolescent revenge fantasy with all the entertainment makings intended to hook viewers. It works too. The characters are compelling and believable. There is tension, suspense, and surprise. There is now a much anticipated second season, slated to come out sometime in 2018 which was not originally intended. The viewer wants more and Netflix is loving it. The importance of the suicide conversation is all but lost somewhere in the frenzy of success.
13. It portrays the adults involved as distracted at best, if not  negligent and hapless, right down to the school counselor, Mr Porter. Although this makes for great entertainment and may sadly be true in some real life cases, a vulnerable and impressionable teen may walk away with the belief that there is no point going to adults for help. The scene where Mr. Porter pushes a box of tissues closer to Hannah was almost as difficult for me to watch as the suicide and rapes. 

To the series credit, it does shed light on the impact of bullying behavior and it's connection to sexual harassment that is confirmed by research. The program does demonstrate how our actions can and do affect others and underscores the remorse around of the reluctance to intervene/lack of intervention and regret when weak attempts at intervention are inadequate. 

The much anticipated second season is rumored to be about redemption and healing. That in itself is music to the ears of we therapists. Addressing the harsh reality of tragedy then exploring the healing process is a wonderful idea. Opening the conversation about suicide is an important and admirable goal but quite ambitious in that it matters very much how it is done. "13 Reasons Why" indeed opens up the suicide conversation and deals with the tough subjects of suicide trauma and it's impact, but it does so, in my opinion, at much too great a risk. With this series: proceed with caution.

**If you are in emotional distress or thinking about suicide, you are not alone. Help is available. Contact the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 its free and confidential

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

or go to your local emergency room 

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*I am a licensed therapist who has been practicing since 1994. I have worked in a variety of settings with all types of clients, including those with a history of self-harm, suicide attempts and sexual assault. I watched the series for two reasons: I am the parent of an adolescent daughter and I am a therapist. I would've watched it even if only one of those reasons existed. I plan to watch the second season for the same reasons. 

Based on my experience, the following are my recommendations around deciding what level, if any, of engagement one chooses to take regarding the series. These are general recommendations intended to help people gauge their risk and help determine the degree of caution they choose to take. For your specific circumstances, if in doubt, delay watching this program and consult with a therapist, clergy or a trusted friend. 

Recommendations: 

Be wary and/or do not watch this series if:

1. You or someone you love has current or past mental health issues or diagnoses. 
2. You or someone you love has  a history of suicidal thoughts and/or suicide attempts. 
3. You or someone you love have current or past tendencies toward self-harm behaviors, especially cutting. 
4. You or a loved one have lost a someone significant to suicide
5. You or someone you love are a survivor of sexual assault 

If you fall somewhere in here and are still considering watching the series, I suggest starting by reading a synopsis that includes summaries of the 14 episodes. It will prepare you for what occurs in the story and may be enough to satisfy your curiosity. The best synopsis I found online is from Wikipedia. I read it in its entirety and in my opinion not only is it accurate, it also gives just the right amount of information: 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thirteen_Reasons_Why

I am somewhat tempted to say that no adolescent should watch this program, but since that is not realistic, here are my tips for parents and loved ones of adolescents: 

1. If your teen expresses interest in watching the series, resist the urge to overreact, tell them no then shut down any conversation. Despite the concerns for the series, this is an opportunity for dialogue with our youth. Use it! If you shut them down, they will find a way to watch it anyway with no opportunity to receive helpful input from you! 
2. Talk to them! Ask them why they want to watch it and what they are expecting. Watch it along side of them and use it as a springboard in discussing important issues that are not addressed in the film such as mental illness, depression and anxiety, healthy problem solving skills, ideas and options, ways to get help, the effectiveness of treatment and the like. Don't let this be a stand alone message! If possible, watch it before them so that you know that to expect. 
3. If you are a parent who would typically choose not to watch the series due to your own personal history with suicide and/or sexual assault but you are trying to support your teen, I once again suggest starting with the synopsis noted above. Depending on your circumstances, you may want to get another trusted adult involved and/or speak with someone such as a therapist, good friend or clergy about your own reactions.